Transition into Marriage

What I learned this week was that marriage has always been around from the beginning.  Man and woman marriages have been around for as long as we can trace back in time.  There are new trends in marriage like more people cohabit before marriage, longer engagements, people are getting married older, smaller families, and divorce is increasing.  I have also found when going to class and reading my text book that the people who are more likely to get married are white people, people with education, upper-class, and because of religious believes.  I learned that the way you are raised can affect your tendencies of how you are going to go about marriage.

                I also learned that being married is not always sunshine and happy days.  It can be really hard at times.  A lot of couples have found that marriage isn’t as fun as they thought it would be.  I think this can be because they have unrealistic expectations and couples need to talk about their “marriage contract” before they get married.  The contract should discuss certain issues like how many kids do you want, how will we solve problems, how are we going to communicate, what roles are we going to have… and more questions.  This can prepare couples to set realistic expectations.

                Marriage can be one of the hardest adjustments for people.  You need to coordinate your plans according to your spouse and you also have to get used to living with spouse by sharing living space.  Good marriages adjust by communicating, dividing up money (sharing money), and spending time together.  Each couple is different so they will need to plan according to each other’s needs.

                Bringing a new baby into the family can either strengthen or decrease marital satisfaction.  Having a baby adds stress because both couples have more of a work load.  Couples can go through the “baby blues” by having the woman only focus on the baby and the man feels out of the picture.  To strengthen marital satisfaction the woman should involve the husband throughout the pregnancy process and assure him that she loves him.  The man can also be a part of the process by being aware of the woman by comforting and helping her.   I would want my future husband to be with me through the process and tell me and show me that he still loves me and be that comforter for me.  An issue we discussed in class is that some women want their mothers with them instead of their husband (for example during the delivery).  This could endanger the husband and wife’s relationship because he won’t be bonding with his wife and child.  Instead the mom and daughter will get closer.  I would want my future husband and I to become closer and stronger by having a baby so that he also feels a connection with the child.  I also believe that Heavenly Father can help us with difficulties we are having with marriage and He can strengthen a marriage so much.  I want to always life worthy so that I can be sealed in the temple to my best friend and have a family focused in the gospel with God as a key part of my family.