This week was about preparing for marriage and the definition of love. I think that it is true that everyone has a different definition of love. I like M. Scott Peck's indention of love: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another's spiritual growth. I believe that love should help each individual to grow and become better. When I get married I want my husband and I to have that connection to bring out the best and each other and to learn and grow from each others strengths.
There are steps to marriage which is first dating, then courtship, and then engagement. Dating is a really important step in finding what type of a person you want to marry. Usually we are attracted to people who we are comfortable with and have the same interests. It is important to go on dates rather than just hanging out. Plan, paired off, and paid for are the steps to a good date according the Elder Oaks which helps us develops skills and meet a variety of people. Courtship is the next step and this is where you learn what you value in a relationship. The engagement stage is where you learn to make and solve decisions with your partner. Each step is important to learning who you want to marry.
There are different types of love. One is called agape and it is love that is not feeling based but because of good intentions for the person. Storge is the parent to child love which means that this love is nurturing and committed. Eros is the romantic/sexual love that involves passion which most people think of when they think of love. Phillia is a friendship love. I think that it is important to have a balance of each type of love in a marriage.
I also learned that a marriage is more likely to last if you have shared values, same religion, and a similar personality with your partner. This is because you will both have the same goals in life and want to work together. In a relationship it is also important to have time, togetherness, and talk (mutual disclosure). Marriages will be more effective if couples spend time together and communicate effectively.
Elder Boyd K. Packer stated that "some roles are best suited to the masculine nature and others to the feminine nature." How can our differences aid in the dating and courtship process? You mentioned the "3 P's of dating," how can we as women encourage Elder Oaks guidance concerning dating? I agree that marriage requires a "balance of each type of love." How can this balance be realized on a smaller scale when dating? You discussed that marriages seem to prove more effective when there is a sense of compatibility in multiple aspects of our lives which I too feel is vital! What are your feelings on the the common idea that "opposites attract?"
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